Movie Review: King Kong (2005)

King Kong (2005)

Quite a sizeable proportion of reviews knocking about are labelling this film as ‘flawless’. I can only assume that these people are unaware of the word’s meaning. Like when people say ‘I literally could eat a horse right now’, when clearly they mean figuratively. I have said time and time again, special effects do not necessarily make great movies. Kong weighs in at an unnecessary three hours and ten minutes, and most of the running time is wasted by Jackson’s incessant bombarding of the viewer with his CGI editing software. He has become inebriated with delusions of his own genius. Lord of the Rings it isn’t.

The plot is relatively simple. Ann (Naomi Watts) is recruited to a movie project being shot abroad, in Skull Island. She is recruited by Carl Denham (Jack Black) who is the director of this off-shore feature. Also coming along for the ride to Skull Island are Jack Driscoll (Adrian Brody), Bruce Baxter (Kyle Chandler) and the rest of the crew. When they reach the island, they realise they have received more than they bargained for. After 67 minutes, we finally see Kong, and he develops a relationship of sorts with Ann throughout the film. I’d divulge more, but I would be ‘spoiling’.

Realism is not an expectation when you go to see a film like King Kong and nor should it be. But the movie should be subject to the rules put down by its own narrative framework and there are a number of very poorly thought out sequences. I have chosen my favourite five moments below.

5) The fact that Ann survives during the fight with the 4 T-rex’s and Kong. Not just the fact that she survives, but the fact that she does so while Kong is holding her the whole time.

4) The fact that Jimmy manages to shoot all the giant bugs off Jack without killing him, despite the fact that the gun he is using is a machine gun, and that he is not looking while he shoots.

3) The stupendously ridiculous brontosaurus chase scene. No-one even touches a dinosaur, despite the fact that it would be impossible not to.

2) The fact that the crew actually get Kong aboard their boat! They would never be able to move him. Also, just hours before they capture Kong, they were even throwing rations off the boat in a bid to reduce its weight. Of course a 200 tonne gorilla is no problem.

1) My favourite item of disgrace is the Central Park scene in New York. The pond is frozen, and Kong continually jumps and slides on the ice, but is doesn’t break for some unimaginable reason.

It isn’t all bad though. Kong himself is a marvel of CGI, I must admit. The facial expressions, the sound, he has never looked this real. The dinosaurs also look very good. But that is not enough. Most people have become desensitised to special effects and nothing is ever as impressive as say, Jurassic Park when it first came out.

The acting is worth noting too. Naomi Watts is very average as Ann; she only has one facial expression throughout the entire feature. I appreciate that she is working with something she cannot see, but she is a professional actress and she should be able to deliver a performance to reflect this. The rest of the cast are solid if completely unremarkable, although the script kills the film with its last line: the film-makers inexplicably get Jack Black to say ‘It was beauty that killed the beast’. Granted this is a line from the original but after a film like this and Jack Black’s character, you cannot have him attempt something poignant. I could almost smell the cheese on my way out.

There are needless unresolved sub-plots like the unresolved relationship between Jimmy and Hayes. No explanations. And it isn’t like there wasn’t enough time to wrap things up for crying out loud. There are scenes where Kong just smacks his belly and roars for five minutes. Whose idea was that?

Jackson just bombards the viewer with special effect after special effect, of course all at the expense of good old-fashioned story-telling. Meaningful dialogue is distributed sparingly, and the audience doesn’t get the chance to think for themselves. We must subscribe to the view that ‘Kong is lovely, we feel sorry for Kong.’ I don’t want to feel like a drone. The film forgets that Kong has thrown innocent men into cliffs and killed about fifteen people. This is a classic case of effects over narrative, and whether you like that or not is entirely down to your taste. Jackson is undoubtedly a talented director but in this feature he has perhaps let his love of the material cloud his judgement.

GRADE: C